Before I moved to university, I had never been out out. The sort of out where you actually leave the house and go to a club. Growing up in a small market town, the only thing to do was pub crawl until you were absolutely off your tits, and then go mental at the mini disco at the dirtiest pub in town. Sad, but true. I didn't really know what to expect when I first went out, so I just threw myself into it... now I can get pissed in just over half an hour and know all the words to multiple Fetty Wap songs.
More to the point, over the past 4/5 months at uni, I've realised that being a girl and going to clubs isn't actually all fun and games. It's fun, don't get me wrong; but the other night was probably the most uncomfortable and anxious I have ever been on a night out.
My course friend and I went out, just me and her..and the night was going pretty well. That was until we were just being circled by a group of boys, they were like vultures. They were grinding against us, despite us moving away multiple times. I'm sure many teenage girls have experienced it; the groping and grabbing and staring. Boys (this is not me saying that all boys do this) go by the assumption that if you even glance their way once, you want them. The worst is when they bump into you on purpose- because that's really going to impress us.
On this particular night, we were followed by two boys, supposedly from the uni. Now I don't have a problem with just chatting, but after a while we made it very clear we didn't want to talk to them. One of them grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go, trying to make me touch his stomach and made disgusting sexual comments.
The worst thing was, if I gave anyone a panicky "save me" look, they'd just laugh. Even when my friend told them she's taken, and I lied and said I had a boyfriend, their answers? "I don't care."
The problem is that too many people excuse this behaviour with "boys will be boys". Practically harassing girls cannot just be passed off as boyish behaviour. At what point did this behaviour become normal?! At what point did the word "no" become "yes"? Just because girls wear short clothes, expose a bit of skin and have a few drinks we are not asking for it.
My best advice for situations like this is to stick with your girls. Don't let go of each other, it's important that we as women look after each other and support each other, because some men are only interested in taking advantage of us.
Stay safe, stick together and stand the fuck up for what you want
chlo x
Post a Comment