Relationships seem to have become more and more complicated since I was younger, and I'm only nineteen now. In primary school, you were either going out or you weren't. The sort of relationships when you would freak out if you held hands... adorable. I remember crushing so hard on a boy and then just going from that to being in a relationship, it was simple..no drama. Cheating didn't really exist back then. I vaguely remember the term "two-timing", but that's about it. Young hearts healed fast, we moved on. We didn't have the influence of social media, or the cheating culture that seems to have developed now.
Where the hell did everything go wrong?
I can't exactly pinpoint the age at which everything changed. I'd say I heard the term "seeing each other" in about year 8...and it just sort of escalated from there. It's shit really, there's now all these new labels and names for relationships or stages in a relationship that ultimately -in my opinion- destroy a lot of relationships.
Now, if someone doesn't have your name in their Instagram bio you aren't official. If they like someone else photos, they're unfaithful. If you don't post photos with each other, you aren't happy. When did we rely on social media to do all of the talking instead of showing the world in the flesh that we have strong relationships?
In a relationship, "together", "seeing each other", "speaking", "meeting up", "friends with benefits"... what is all this? What does half of it even mean? Why did it come to fitting our relationships into shitty, specific sub categories that only enhance our insecurities? Every minute we are stuck in these "official yet unofficial" relationships, we become more insecure, more cautious, more guarded, more "psychotic".
Why do you think a lot of people in relationships get labelled as "psycho"? In a relationship, you need stability, level ground...an understanding that you're exclusive, you're happy. Its crazy how something as small as the label of a relationship can be a make or break, an excuse to cheat.
Here is some important advice that I saw on twitter: don't mistake salt for sugar. if he wants to be with you he will, its that simple.
And obviously, this applies to both genders in any relationship. The fact of the matter is, if someone truly wants to be with you, they just will... despite everything. You all deserve to be loved and cherished and to be in a healthy, happy relationship.
My advice is to move past these labels. If someone refuses to continue your relationship further than "seeing each other" or sleeping together... read the signs.
Please don't let these stupid labels ruin your relationships or you. Without realising it affects your mental state, the way you form relationships in the future, the way you see yourself, how much you trust other people.
Love yourself and never, ever rely on anyone else to determine your happiness, or your self worth. You are amazing.
chlo x
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